New Year's Resolutions by Red Green

I read these in the Toronto Star:

1. I will not eat anything I don't recognize
2. I will strive to maintain my current fitness level
3. I will allow myself to be examined by a doctor, even if he has cold hands
4. I will be quieter, in deference to the people who are intimidated by my unlimited knowledge
5. I will forgive all of my friends and loved ones and appreciate that I am still way ahead on those exchanges

Things we can all achieve.